Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
