i just wanna soil my oats bro
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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