so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
