Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize