I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
