we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
