Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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