kristin has been a bad kristin
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
