They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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