As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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