carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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