What a fucking waste of an outfit
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
