She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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