it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
