i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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