Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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