Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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