You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
