OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
