Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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