Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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