He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
These tits shall not be calmed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
