He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize