Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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