Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
