I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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