from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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