I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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