Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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