I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
