Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
