how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
