True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
