I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize