my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
