I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
