Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
