cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
