big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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