he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize