If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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