I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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