so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
