I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Life is so much better after having sex.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize