the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
