so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
