So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
