I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize