Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
