She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize