Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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