I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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