Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
