you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize