"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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