Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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