if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
