My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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