i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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