Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
