its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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