My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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