We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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