oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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